Bastards. I can't sleep and I'm having 'A Horse With No Name' blasted into my skull by an overenthusiastic house-sharer with a subwoofer, so I've been forced to resort to posting on the internet again.
Apparently, Amy Winehouse is headlining something called the 'Bestival', which is allegedly held somewhere on the Isle of Wight. It's a small festival, not one of the 'big five' of Glastonbury, Reading, T in the Park and heavy metal gatherings of Download and Ozzfest, but the BBC decided to knock out an entire article based solely on the fact that Amy Winehouse turned up on time and didn't make a terrible mess of herself. Why this is considered news, I really don't know.
Well, I say that, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I do. It's because they want her to collapse into a heroin-addled heap so they can tut over her and tell everyone what a terrible role model she is, and how she should be ashamed of setting a bad example. Setting a bad example? She's not a nun, she's a singer. Her job is to sing, not to inspire your children to join the Priesthood. She can perform from a flaming armchair while doing knife tricks and injecting heroin into her eyeballs provided she keeps the wavering to a minimum and it really shouldn't be important. Not everyone in the media has been put there to set a good example.
Take, for example, the hilariously hypocritical stance taken by the Daily Mirror over the last - I presume - five years. Back when I used to read the terrible red-top pap regularly, when 'The Osbournes' was the show to watch, The Mirror's fashion section was devoted, every single day, with neither waver nor fail, to pointing out how fat and ugly they thought Kelly Osbourne was. Every day. For about a year. Then I stopped buying it for about three years and thought that perhaps they'd long since gotten bored, until I had a copy delivered last week by mistake. Sure enough, ten or so pages in, there's a half-page editorial and a two-page spread on how much of a 'slapper' Kelly Osbourne was for slapping one of their reporters in a nightclub. Good on you, girl. If someone spent five years spitefully and publically calling me fat over and over again, I'd probably give them a good slap as well.
That's a good example for you, standing up for yourself, regardless of how the papers try to spin it. Smack a few more while you're at it, girl. I'll give you a big wet sloppy kiss if you get your mum to smack Piers fucking Morgan in his smug mouth with a tyre iron. Actually I'd give you a big wet sloppy kiss anyway, but that's a story for another post. Or not.
The problem is that the media plays to a strange corner of the human psyche that really, truly, deep down, wants to see others fail. Wants to see the rich and famous knocked off their perches. People felt Kelly Osbourne was undeserving of the money and fame that comes from having a famous father, and were willing to fork out their 30p a day, at least partially, to see her insulted and rideculed because it soothed their jealous egos. Those same people now wait with baited breath, listening out for the thunking rustle of newsprint on doormat to see if today will be the day Amy Winehouse gives up and chokes to death on her own hair, just so they could say "I told you so". They hide it and dress it up in concern over 'good role models', but what they really want is to see that the rich and famous can fail too, because it makes them feel that little bit better about themselves.
Give it up.
'Horse With No Name' is still going. I think I'm going insane.
Goodnight.
Apparently, Amy Winehouse is headlining something called the 'Bestival', which is allegedly held somewhere on the Isle of Wight. It's a small festival, not one of the 'big five' of Glastonbury, Reading, T in the Park and heavy metal gatherings of Download and Ozzfest, but the BBC decided to knock out an entire article based solely on the fact that Amy Winehouse turned up on time and didn't make a terrible mess of herself. Why this is considered news, I really don't know.
Well, I say that, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I do. It's because they want her to collapse into a heroin-addled heap so they can tut over her and tell everyone what a terrible role model she is, and how she should be ashamed of setting a bad example. Setting a bad example? She's not a nun, she's a singer. Her job is to sing, not to inspire your children to join the Priesthood. She can perform from a flaming armchair while doing knife tricks and injecting heroin into her eyeballs provided she keeps the wavering to a minimum and it really shouldn't be important. Not everyone in the media has been put there to set a good example.
Take, for example, the hilariously hypocritical stance taken by the Daily Mirror over the last - I presume - five years. Back when I used to read the terrible red-top pap regularly, when 'The Osbournes' was the show to watch, The Mirror's fashion section was devoted, every single day, with neither waver nor fail, to pointing out how fat and ugly they thought Kelly Osbourne was. Every day. For about a year. Then I stopped buying it for about three years and thought that perhaps they'd long since gotten bored, until I had a copy delivered last week by mistake. Sure enough, ten or so pages in, there's a half-page editorial and a two-page spread on how much of a 'slapper' Kelly Osbourne was for slapping one of their reporters in a nightclub. Good on you, girl. If someone spent five years spitefully and publically calling me fat over and over again, I'd probably give them a good slap as well.
That's a good example for you, standing up for yourself, regardless of how the papers try to spin it. Smack a few more while you're at it, girl. I'll give you a big wet sloppy kiss if you get your mum to smack Piers fucking Morgan in his smug mouth with a tyre iron. Actually I'd give you a big wet sloppy kiss anyway, but that's a story for another post. Or not.
The problem is that the media plays to a strange corner of the human psyche that really, truly, deep down, wants to see others fail. Wants to see the rich and famous knocked off their perches. People felt Kelly Osbourne was undeserving of the money and fame that comes from having a famous father, and were willing to fork out their 30p a day, at least partially, to see her insulted and rideculed because it soothed their jealous egos. Those same people now wait with baited breath, listening out for the thunking rustle of newsprint on doormat to see if today will be the day Amy Winehouse gives up and chokes to death on her own hair, just so they could say "I told you so". They hide it and dress it up in concern over 'good role models', but what they really want is to see that the rich and famous can fail too, because it makes them feel that little bit better about themselves.
Give it up.
'Horse With No Name' is still going. I think I'm going insane.
Goodnight.
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