Your Say Thursday: How Can We Tackle Youth Crime?

Well, how can we? Should we take away their fizzy pop until they calm down, or just smack them about the head with a rolled-up newspaper until they promise not to stab Mrs. Johnson in the neck anymore, even when she's carrying expensive-looking shopping? Obviously this is too important an issue for the government to tackle alone, so it's been turned over, by the BBC, to what is clearly the unofficial highest court in the land: The infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters that is Have Your Say. As usual, they were a crushing disappointment, but amusing nonetheless.

"Much of the trouble young people get into is exacerbated if not caused by alcohol. Last week the government took the courageous decision to make cannabis a more serious drug in the eyes of the law. This was done largely because they were fearful of it getting into the hands of teenagers and causing serious harm.

Is it not time to do the same thing with alcohol as well?

I think it may even warrant a class A categorisation. Surely it is the sensible and appropriate thing to do !"

phr, Nottingham

You know what else obviously warrants class A drugs clarification, phr? Fun. Did you know that 83% of all injuries amongst children and young people are as a direct result of fun? Let's ban this brightly-coloured menace before it claims any more innocent lives.

"The solution is simple, just publicly shame the families and loved ones of these troublemakers. Young offenders could feel some kind of satisfaction and say: 'look at me, I'm cool', when you put their pictures in the newspapers. So what would these though guys do when their girlfriends and sisters are being shamed in public! i.e. we could show pictures of their girlfriends looking ugly by photoshopping or without proper clothing on. This would drasticly decrease the number of youth crimes."

Dastan, London

Even better, Dastan, let's punish these feral youths by hunting down their grandmothers and sticking our cocks in their ear. That'll teach these kids to behave quick sharp!

"I think the youth should be more scared of the POLICE, which would make them more afraid because nowadays youth commit crime in front of an officer coz they believe that they can't get touched. so police should be able to physicaly punish thm in the public and even kick them if it's necessary."

Shahin, London United Kingdom

I don't know about you, Shahin, but Sting puts the willies up me. On a serious note, I agree perfectly that there need to be greater police powers to tackle youth crime, but I think it can be done better than turning the police into some sort of cross between Judge Dredd and Robocop.

"Beat them throw them into a cell with no heat clothes food water or light for a week then if they reoffend make the little darlings dig a hole make them kneel in front of the hole then put a 44 bullet into their heads the force of the impact throwing them into the hole they dug. Fill in hole and problem solved."

Dave Smith, Gloucester, United Kingdom

Either Dave has read far to much Bravo Two Zero, or is just some sort of classical idiot. Either way, I'm struggling immensely to find a way to justify execution as a reasonable response to two counts of drunk and disorderly. You're going to have to refine those beliefs a little at the very least, or you're advocating the police shooting you for jaywalking if you've got previous for pissing in a bush.

"We should force-feed under 21s with contraceptives in order to tackle youth crime. Make it an offence to have a child outside marriage, and lock parents up with their kids if they offend."

kris wardrope, ayrshire, United

Because if there's one group of these feral youths truly running riot in Britain's cities, it's the pregnant. You can barely go out of an evening these days without being accosted by hormonal women with shivs and elasticated trousers. It's madness, I tell you.

"Clamp down on immigration. Stop all benefits to foreigners and deport those who commit crimes. Simple. How much of this youth crime is down to English people?"

Jason Slack, Doncaster, United Kingdom

All youth crime must surely be down to nasty smelly foreign children coming over from France to stab our good, upstanding British children in the eyes. Solid, hard-as-oak British children would never resort to kicking in a pensioner. Not ever. It's just not in their blood.

I could go on. There's millions of the buggers. But I won't, because it's giving me a headache. I'm not sure whether to be amused or saddened by the number of bigoted, fascist ravings contained on the Have Your Say page, and I'm only really sticking with the former because I keep telling myself that idiots always attract other idiots, and that's the reason why the vast majority of HYS'ers are, in one way or another, hideous bigots. Hopefully this isnt the 'Silent white majority' the BNP likes to talk about, because it certainly isn't anyone I know.

Goodnight.