Bloody hell, that was an interesting weekend in the FA Cup, wasn't it? The draw for the semi finals is held later on today, with Barnsley, West Brom, Portsmouth and Cardiff in the pot for a trip to Wembley to decide who, erm... goes back to Wembley a bit later and has a chance of winning a big tin cup. Maybe I'm getting older, but I'm still one for only playing the final at Wembley, it gives people something to aim for. When the see that arch soaring in front of the team bus, they should know they are one game away from a cup win, not two. I'm all for playing the semis on neutral ground, but with the big guns out of the cup, surely the Emirates Stadium or Old Trafford would be excellent choices? The Millennium Stadium couldn't be used this year as Cardiff are in the pot and it'd be a touch unfair to send some other poor bastard to Britain's second stadium only to have 75,000 screaming Welshers bellowing at them in a supposedly neutral venue. Still, it might give a bigger chance of Portsmouth being knocked out and thus the FA Cup going to a side outside the top division for the first time since forever - I can't be the only one that wants to see Barnsley vs. AC Milan in the UEFA Cup qualifers, surely?
Anyway, the news. The BBC are reporting that the BNP, evidently of the mind that they just aren't hated enough by anyone with half a brain and the ability to read their sour, hate-filled manifesto, have refused to apologise for publishing a leaflet labelling drug users as 'nasty, pathetic parasites' featuring a photograph of dead heroin addict Rachel Whitear which was released by her parents after her death in May 2000 (Apparently no minority group are safe from the BNP's increasingly unfocussed flailing rage - Ed). Obviously, her parents are distressed, not least because, as well as describing their deceased daughter as a nasty parasite, by using her name and image it implies that they support the content of the leaflet, aimed at pinning the blame for heroin use on Muslim communities. Now, I'm going to come clean and say I haven't read the pamphlet in question, but if it's anything like the leaflets they pushed through my door before the local elections ("GANGS OF MUSLIM EXTREMISTS ARE COMING TO RAPE YOUR DOG RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!") it's likely to be complete bollocks. It was printed on nice, soft paper though, even though I doubt my morning poo could have added a great deal to the shit-to-paper ratio of the piece.
Oh well, unlike the BNP, them thar brown people they're so scared of don't half have a sense of humour, as a council of elders in Sudan have decreed that a man must marry the goat he was caught having sex with. That seems a little harsh - I know if I was forced to marry anyone I was caught having sex with I'd have married a few dogs by now, but I mean that in the figurative sense - but if you're going to go out of your way to rape a goat you should at least have the decency to be a gentleman and propose to it - goats are people too, after all. Except they aren't, and that's why it's illegal to have sex with them. Still, the owner of the goat did alright out of it, as the elders ordered the would-be goat-rapist pay him a dowry, as is traditional when taking a bride from her 'father'. Don't know if I'd want to eat the chops after that, though, so I'm sure he's still a bit out of pocket.
In other news, the Daily Express continued it's dedication to hard-hitting journalism by ignoring all the other stories of the day and going with, on it's front page, Holly Willoughby's tits and their determined efforts to escape from whatever she was wearing this week on 'Dancing on Ice'. Who cares? I don't think Willoughby is particularly attractive, nor do I think her dress sense is of national importance unless you're more than a little odd. Frankly I couldn't care less if she wants to swan about naked, although she might get a bit chilly. This odd obsession with one celebrity (oh, except Amy Winehouse - 'Amy is Back on Crack', the headlines scream... did we really expect anything less? Go and get Britney to shave something again) in one particular newspaper hasn't been seen since about 2004, when The Sunday Mirror's 'Fashion' section turned into a weekly 'Look at Kelly Osbourne, Isn't She Ugly? Look, Here's Some Pictures of Her Being Ugly. Burn the Troll, Burn Her!' session.
Oops, I've now mentioned her in two posts in a row. Perhaps it's catching.
Finally, what happened to that killer storm I was promised? I was woken up at about 5 by the wind trying to take my window off it's moorings and a bit of driving rain, but that's about it. I was predicted a deadly storm of cyclone proportions and all we got was a bit of a wet fart. The only way it could have caused a billion pounds of damage would be if there had been a billion pounds on my roof and it had blown it all out to sea, and if there had been a billion pounds on my roof, I'd have taken the fucker down. The Daily Express (so I suppose I should have expected as much, really) was predicting death and destruction on a national scale and spent about four pages hollering about how the wind, rain and earthquakes were all part of the end times and it was all our fault for not saving Goddess Diana from those nasty Arabs, and then bugger all happened except me getting woken up and being unable to get back to sleep, which means I have been working hard since before you probably woke up and this is the first oppertunity I've had to do anything on my own time, in what is actually supposed to be my lunch hour. I'm not happy, but I've no-one to blame but myself.
Edit: I suppose I ought to do some sports news. I've just recalled reading a story earlier about Cristiano Ronaldo saying he was 'afraid to play his game' in the FA Cup match against Portsmouth at the weekend. Bloody hell, if a couple of shoves from a pair of French whoopsies puts the wind up him, I bet he shits himself every time a car backfires in Moss Side. What does he really expect opponents to do, stand off and wave him through on goal? Tip their hats and bow their undeserving heads to his greatness? This is football, and if you ponce about with all the fancy tricks he does, eventually some big bastard of a center-half will come along and give you a nip. I'm not saying people should go about scything him down but the odd shoulder charge is no great offence, and maybe if he spent less time crumpling like a cheap paper Bovril cup any time an opposition player got within ten feet of him, referees might be more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Oh, and David Haye won the fight, in case you didn't already know. Good stoppage in the second. Two rounds earlier than I reckoned, but I'm glad it was a quick finish as it was closing in on 3AM and I was bloody knackered. I think I was more groggy listening to that fight than Enzo was after that big right hand, for goodness' sake. What business have the Septics got deciding when our boxing goes ahead anyway? Still, Haye's moved up to heavyweight now, and heaven knows the division needs him.
Until later then,
Goodnight.
Anyway, the news. The BBC are reporting that the BNP, evidently of the mind that they just aren't hated enough by anyone with half a brain and the ability to read their sour, hate-filled manifesto, have refused to apologise for publishing a leaflet labelling drug users as 'nasty, pathetic parasites' featuring a photograph of dead heroin addict Rachel Whitear which was released by her parents after her death in May 2000 (Apparently no minority group are safe from the BNP's increasingly unfocussed flailing rage - Ed). Obviously, her parents are distressed, not least because, as well as describing their deceased daughter as a nasty parasite, by using her name and image it implies that they support the content of the leaflet, aimed at pinning the blame for heroin use on Muslim communities. Now, I'm going to come clean and say I haven't read the pamphlet in question, but if it's anything like the leaflets they pushed through my door before the local elections ("GANGS OF MUSLIM EXTREMISTS ARE COMING TO RAPE YOUR DOG RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!") it's likely to be complete bollocks. It was printed on nice, soft paper though, even though I doubt my morning poo could have added a great deal to the shit-to-paper ratio of the piece.
Oh well, unlike the BNP, them thar brown people they're so scared of don't half have a sense of humour, as a council of elders in Sudan have decreed that a man must marry the goat he was caught having sex with. That seems a little harsh - I know if I was forced to marry anyone I was caught having sex with I'd have married a few dogs by now, but I mean that in the figurative sense - but if you're going to go out of your way to rape a goat you should at least have the decency to be a gentleman and propose to it - goats are people too, after all. Except they aren't, and that's why it's illegal to have sex with them. Still, the owner of the goat did alright out of it, as the elders ordered the would-be goat-rapist pay him a dowry, as is traditional when taking a bride from her 'father'. Don't know if I'd want to eat the chops after that, though, so I'm sure he's still a bit out of pocket.
In other news, the Daily Express continued it's dedication to hard-hitting journalism by ignoring all the other stories of the day and going with, on it's front page, Holly Willoughby's tits and their determined efforts to escape from whatever she was wearing this week on 'Dancing on Ice'. Who cares? I don't think Willoughby is particularly attractive, nor do I think her dress sense is of national importance unless you're more than a little odd. Frankly I couldn't care less if she wants to swan about naked, although she might get a bit chilly. This odd obsession with one celebrity (oh, except Amy Winehouse - 'Amy is Back on Crack', the headlines scream... did we really expect anything less? Go and get Britney to shave something again) in one particular newspaper hasn't been seen since about 2004, when The Sunday Mirror's 'Fashion' section turned into a weekly 'Look at Kelly Osbourne, Isn't She Ugly? Look, Here's Some Pictures of Her Being Ugly. Burn the Troll, Burn Her!' session.
Oops, I've now mentioned her in two posts in a row. Perhaps it's catching.
Finally, what happened to that killer storm I was promised? I was woken up at about 5 by the wind trying to take my window off it's moorings and a bit of driving rain, but that's about it. I was predicted a deadly storm of cyclone proportions and all we got was a bit of a wet fart. The only way it could have caused a billion pounds of damage would be if there had been a billion pounds on my roof and it had blown it all out to sea, and if there had been a billion pounds on my roof, I'd have taken the fucker down. The Daily Express (so I suppose I should have expected as much, really) was predicting death and destruction on a national scale and spent about four pages hollering about how the wind, rain and earthquakes were all part of the end times and it was all our fault for not saving Goddess Diana from those nasty Arabs, and then bugger all happened except me getting woken up and being unable to get back to sleep, which means I have been working hard since before you probably woke up and this is the first oppertunity I've had to do anything on my own time, in what is actually supposed to be my lunch hour. I'm not happy, but I've no-one to blame but myself.
Edit: I suppose I ought to do some sports news. I've just recalled reading a story earlier about Cristiano Ronaldo saying he was 'afraid to play his game' in the FA Cup match against Portsmouth at the weekend. Bloody hell, if a couple of shoves from a pair of French whoopsies puts the wind up him, I bet he shits himself every time a car backfires in Moss Side. What does he really expect opponents to do, stand off and wave him through on goal? Tip their hats and bow their undeserving heads to his greatness? This is football, and if you ponce about with all the fancy tricks he does, eventually some big bastard of a center-half will come along and give you a nip. I'm not saying people should go about scything him down but the odd shoulder charge is no great offence, and maybe if he spent less time crumpling like a cheap paper Bovril cup any time an opposition player got within ten feet of him, referees might be more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Oh, and David Haye won the fight, in case you didn't already know. Good stoppage in the second. Two rounds earlier than I reckoned, but I'm glad it was a quick finish as it was closing in on 3AM and I was bloody knackered. I think I was more groggy listening to that fight than Enzo was after that big right hand, for goodness' sake. What business have the Septics got deciding when our boxing goes ahead anyway? Still, Haye's moved up to heavyweight now, and heaven knows the division needs him.
Until later then,
Goodnight.
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