Fucking hell it's hot. I know that's two swears from title to first sentence fragment, but it really is very, very hot. In March. I've spent weeks and weeks complaining about the bollock-freezing cold of the rest of the month and now I'm longing for the halcyon days where I could wear more than a pair of socks and underpants without dripping like a basted chicken. Obviously this does nothing for my usual happy, carefree demeanour, and nor does the fact I've had four hours' sleep, had to clean up the biggest pile of cat vomit the western world has ever seen (and we've got some decadent cats) and this is the first time I've been able to get online today since I changed my broadband provider and BT took the oppertunity to turn my phoneline off.
Oh, and I have to go back to work in just under an hour. Cock bum.
Anyway, yes, world happenings. Just when you thought they'd finally pissed off forever, it's time for The Maddy Investigation: Redux. Yes, they've been out of the papers for all of five seconds and they don't like it, so they're back with more tales of woe about the police investigating them. This time they're quizzing their friends to see if they nicked the bloody kid. To be honest with you, I'm past caring. I went through a period of extreme rage at this, I even decided that it would be better if the kid turned up dead, just so it could all be over. Now I've come full circle and have decided it would be better if she turned up alive, just to spare me one more glimpse of her parents' crocodile tears. Obviously there would be street parades, meetings with the Queen, Hollywood blockbusters and BBC specials, but at least there would be a visible end to it all - we'd make Maddy Prime Minister, of course, but even given that she would have to retire eventually. Without something, anything, occurring, this story looks like it's going to drag on forever, and if there's one thing I don't need to ever see again in my life, it's Kate McCann's hideously pointed face.
In Beijing, the Chinese have welcomed the arrival of the Olympic torch, which they're presumably going to use to set fire to some Tibetans. It's really quite sad, the tiny amount the Chinese people know about what goes on in their own country - the plane bringing the Olympic torch in was greeted by cheering schoolchildren waving banners of peace and tolerance, while over the other side of the country there are military hit squads clobbering people over the head for being wilfully Tibetan. I have a friend who's from Beijing and she's constantly shocked by the amount of anti-Chinese government stories present in the British media, and we've generally been apathetic to the whole thing. If she went to a country like France or Germany, who have both threatened to boycott the Olympics if they don't stop burning monastaries, I think she'd probably faint. It's not that she's pro- or anti- China's actions in Tibet - I'm pretty sure that even if she was against it, she wouldn't say so - it's just that they don't see it over there.
I reckon every single news broadcast is a 3-hour love-in with the government, cracking down on those evil religious terrorists hiding in the mountains, waiting to destroy our civilisation if we don't destroy theirs. Hmm.
Before we get too far into the politics, let's have a bit of entertainment news, Rickay and Bianca are back on Eastenders. I think I'm going to go and kill myself now.
Goodnight.
Oh, and I have to go back to work in just under an hour. Cock bum.
Anyway, yes, world happenings. Just when you thought they'd finally pissed off forever, it's time for The Maddy Investigation: Redux. Yes, they've been out of the papers for all of five seconds and they don't like it, so they're back with more tales of woe about the police investigating them. This time they're quizzing their friends to see if they nicked the bloody kid. To be honest with you, I'm past caring. I went through a period of extreme rage at this, I even decided that it would be better if the kid turned up dead, just so it could all be over. Now I've come full circle and have decided it would be better if she turned up alive, just to spare me one more glimpse of her parents' crocodile tears. Obviously there would be street parades, meetings with the Queen, Hollywood blockbusters and BBC specials, but at least there would be a visible end to it all - we'd make Maddy Prime Minister, of course, but even given that she would have to retire eventually. Without something, anything, occurring, this story looks like it's going to drag on forever, and if there's one thing I don't need to ever see again in my life, it's Kate McCann's hideously pointed face.
In Beijing, the Chinese have welcomed the arrival of the Olympic torch, which they're presumably going to use to set fire to some Tibetans. It's really quite sad, the tiny amount the Chinese people know about what goes on in their own country - the plane bringing the Olympic torch in was greeted by cheering schoolchildren waving banners of peace and tolerance, while over the other side of the country there are military hit squads clobbering people over the head for being wilfully Tibetan. I have a friend who's from Beijing and she's constantly shocked by the amount of anti-Chinese government stories present in the British media, and we've generally been apathetic to the whole thing. If she went to a country like France or Germany, who have both threatened to boycott the Olympics if they don't stop burning monastaries, I think she'd probably faint. It's not that she's pro- or anti- China's actions in Tibet - I'm pretty sure that even if she was against it, she wouldn't say so - it's just that they don't see it over there.
I reckon every single news broadcast is a 3-hour love-in with the government, cracking down on those evil religious terrorists hiding in the mountains, waiting to destroy our civilisation if we don't destroy theirs. Hmm.
Before we get too far into the politics, let's have a bit of entertainment news, Rickay and Bianca are back on Eastenders. I think I'm going to go and kill myself now.
Goodnight.
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