Bleurgh. I'm just staggering back and forth between illnesses lately, and this morning I've woken up with a headache, bloodshot eyes, the aches and the shivers. It's like I've been on a 12-pint binge without the night out, which is even more galling seeing as I ended up spending yesterday having a quiet night in watching Deep Space 9, getting an early night so I can be up at 3am to listen to the Calzaghe fight on the radio because the cunts at Setanta have bought up the rights again. On the plus side, that Major Kira is quite a dish, but on the downside, I might have to subscribe to Setanta at this rate, which will be another tenner a month down the drain. I do like a woman that can dish out a good hiding, but I think tonight I'd rather be watching Calzaghe give that mouthy American cunt a good twatting - I'm just not well enough for an intergalactic fumble right now.
Well, maybe just the one. Yes, Major Kira.
Anyway, I'd like to take this oppertunity to take a break from the news for just a moment and call Ben Stein a cretin. Ben Stein, you're a cretin. He's got a new movie out this week in America, entitled 'Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed' which attempts to tie Darwin's theory of evolution to the thinking behind the Holocaust in Nazi Germany. It's difficult to argue with logic like that, because it's so fundamentally stupid that it's difficult to know where to start. As a man who was raised Jewish, Stein should really know than to exploit the memory of Ha-Shoah for his own ends, especially when they are so rediculously partisan as to be little more than a joke comparible to Scientology's attempts to paint psychotherapy as a Nazi plot to talk people out of worshipping their rediculous cult. I'll probably get my name splashed all over the internet now, but I don't care. Now, I'm not one to say what people can and can't believe, and Ben Stein would probably be the first to point out that Judaism doesn't exactly mesh particularly well with Darwin's theory, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to further research - what if God created evolution? You never know - and I'm certainly not going to start calling people Nazis for disagreeing with me. Let's face it, that would lead to a pretty confusing scenario, wouldn't it? Ben Stein disagrees with me, so he's a fucking Nazi, and I'm a Nazi for thinking he's a Nazi. That's a Nazi surprise, isn't it? Hmm.
None of you deserved that pun, and I apologise wholeheartedly.
Still, today seems to be a day when people are getting their religious perspectives in a twist. Taleban militants in Afghanistan have been photographed making demands and putting guns to the head of the captured Pakistani ambassador to the country, seemingly unaware of the massive fucking penalties in Islam for killing fellow Muslims. Now, you'll find people from all sorts of groups who can find quotes saying Muslims want to kill everyone, don't want to kill anyone, or just want to kill the odd Infidel every couple of weeks just to keep up appearances, but the golden rule is, as far as I can see (and I have to admit I haven't read the book) is that you can't kill other Muslims. Not deliberately anyway. There are scholars out there that will say that the Koran can be used to justify Muslims that die as collateral damage, but I'm fairly sure it's not possible to justify openly intending to kill another Muslim for the purposes of getting a few quid off the Pakistani government. The Taleban like to claim that they're fighting to uphold the tenets of Islam, so perhaps for their next trick they'd like to prove their dedication to the tenets of the Islamic faith by rubbing bacon on their cocks.
Still, if you're going to go looking for religious crazies, you really don't have to go as far as Afghanistan. There's plenty in Texas as well (OK, that's just about as far, but I bet it's easier to get a plane ticket there). The Fundamentalist Mormon sect who's leader, Warren Jeffs, has been an FBI fugitive on more sexual deviancy charges than I can count for as long as I can remember, has had over 400 children taken from them and put into care, and all are being DNA tested because it's impossible to tell who's related to who. That would be, I expect, because they are all related to each other. You don't get over 400 kids out of such a small sect without some serious inbreeding going on there, and I predict more than a few are going to get some horrible shocks when the DNA tests come back. It's always a bit baffling when the same religious sects that teach people that sex is wrong are the same ones being told to go out and multiply, but it's even stranger when it's not as bad when you're just whacking it up your sister. I despair at some people, I really do. Anyway, that's about the last of the insane religious mania stories I can find for you today, as there seemed to be something of a theme going on. Oh, and Gordon Brown has dismissed any chance of reviewing the 10p tax changes. Because he's a shit.
Oh, and finally, mediums and psychics in Britain are kicking up a fuss over a new suggestion of a bill that would leave them open to prosecution if they can't back up their claims. You'd think they'd have seen it coming, really, wouldn't you?
At ease, gentlemen.
Goodnight.
Edit: I don't know what sort of state I'll be in tomorrow, but I'll try to be here. In the mean time, have a punt on Calzaghe. I reckon he's got the beating of Hopkins. It doesn't help that Hopkins is a nasty little cunt either. Hopefully he'll get his face punched off.
Edit Edit: He's only gone and fucking done it, hasn't he? A win for Calzaghe after a fight where I thought Hopkins had the better of him. Shows what I know, and now I can finally go to bed. Until later, then. Well done you Welshers.
Well, maybe just the one. Yes, Major Kira.
Anyway, I'd like to take this oppertunity to take a break from the news for just a moment and call Ben Stein a cretin. Ben Stein, you're a cretin. He's got a new movie out this week in America, entitled 'Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed' which attempts to tie Darwin's theory of evolution to the thinking behind the Holocaust in Nazi Germany. It's difficult to argue with logic like that, because it's so fundamentally stupid that it's difficult to know where to start. As a man who was raised Jewish, Stein should really know than to exploit the memory of Ha-Shoah for his own ends, especially when they are so rediculously partisan as to be little more than a joke comparible to Scientology's attempts to paint psychotherapy as a Nazi plot to talk people out of worshipping their rediculous cult. I'll probably get my name splashed all over the internet now, but I don't care. Now, I'm not one to say what people can and can't believe, and Ben Stein would probably be the first to point out that Judaism doesn't exactly mesh particularly well with Darwin's theory, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to further research - what if God created evolution? You never know - and I'm certainly not going to start calling people Nazis for disagreeing with me. Let's face it, that would lead to a pretty confusing scenario, wouldn't it? Ben Stein disagrees with me, so he's a fucking Nazi, and I'm a Nazi for thinking he's a Nazi. That's a Nazi surprise, isn't it? Hmm.
None of you deserved that pun, and I apologise wholeheartedly.
Still, today seems to be a day when people are getting their religious perspectives in a twist. Taleban militants in Afghanistan have been photographed making demands and putting guns to the head of the captured Pakistani ambassador to the country, seemingly unaware of the massive fucking penalties in Islam for killing fellow Muslims. Now, you'll find people from all sorts of groups who can find quotes saying Muslims want to kill everyone, don't want to kill anyone, or just want to kill the odd Infidel every couple of weeks just to keep up appearances, but the golden rule is, as far as I can see (and I have to admit I haven't read the book) is that you can't kill other Muslims. Not deliberately anyway. There are scholars out there that will say that the Koran can be used to justify Muslims that die as collateral damage, but I'm fairly sure it's not possible to justify openly intending to kill another Muslim for the purposes of getting a few quid off the Pakistani government. The Taleban like to claim that they're fighting to uphold the tenets of Islam, so perhaps for their next trick they'd like to prove their dedication to the tenets of the Islamic faith by rubbing bacon on their cocks.
Still, if you're going to go looking for religious crazies, you really don't have to go as far as Afghanistan. There's plenty in Texas as well (OK, that's just about as far, but I bet it's easier to get a plane ticket there). The Fundamentalist Mormon sect who's leader, Warren Jeffs, has been an FBI fugitive on more sexual deviancy charges than I can count for as long as I can remember, has had over 400 children taken from them and put into care, and all are being DNA tested because it's impossible to tell who's related to who. That would be, I expect, because they are all related to each other. You don't get over 400 kids out of such a small sect without some serious inbreeding going on there, and I predict more than a few are going to get some horrible shocks when the DNA tests come back. It's always a bit baffling when the same religious sects that teach people that sex is wrong are the same ones being told to go out and multiply, but it's even stranger when it's not as bad when you're just whacking it up your sister. I despair at some people, I really do. Anyway, that's about the last of the insane religious mania stories I can find for you today, as there seemed to be something of a theme going on. Oh, and Gordon Brown has dismissed any chance of reviewing the 10p tax changes. Because he's a shit.
Oh, and finally, mediums and psychics in Britain are kicking up a fuss over a new suggestion of a bill that would leave them open to prosecution if they can't back up their claims. You'd think they'd have seen it coming, really, wouldn't you?
At ease, gentlemen.
Goodnight.
Edit: I don't know what sort of state I'll be in tomorrow, but I'll try to be here. In the mean time, have a punt on Calzaghe. I reckon he's got the beating of Hopkins. It doesn't help that Hopkins is a nasty little cunt either. Hopefully he'll get his face punched off.
Edit Edit: He's only gone and fucking done it, hasn't he? A win for Calzaghe after a fight where I thought Hopkins had the better of him. Shows what I know, and now I can finally go to bed. Until later, then. Well done you Welshers.
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