Hey, you! Yes, you, the one reading this blog? What are you doing reading and having time to yourself when poor Madeline McCann is still missing? Never mind the fact that she's almost certainly dead, and if she isn't then what she's likely going through would make you wish she was, get out there and look! How do you sleep at night, you monster, having time to yourself and that. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's Day 246 in the hunt for Madeline, and still the Daily Express seems to have forgotten the root word of the word 'news' (hint for the slow: it's 'new). Having previously spent about ten years with Princess Dashboard-Face as their showcorpse, they've moved onto another blonde with an inflated sense of national importance, and have somehow managed to exceed their own massive expectations as regards to sheer blind annoyance. Even the BB fucking C have at least toned down their 24/7 coverage of the story in favour of far more relevant things while the Express keeps on chugging away, probably working on some government bill mandating people spend at least six hours a day looking, on pain of hanging by the testicles. ("Do you think it should be illegal not to be looking for Madeline? Call now on 0181 444-SHAMELESS-PHONE-SCAM").
People all over the world and all over the internet have covered the story, and it was easily the biggest of 2007 and looks like being one of the longest of 2008. It's been covered in intricate detail by professionals in every field possibly connected with the case who covered every fragment of evidence with more expertise than I could ever offer if I dedicated my life to the case, which is why I'm going to sum it up for you in three words: She is dead. If you want four, I'll go with 'very dead', because that's how certain I am that she is dead - there are degrees of dead, and she's right at the top. She is the dictionary definition. They could use her picture in the entry if a) they actually used pictures in dictionaries and b) it wasn't already used for the entry on 'Annoying'. Sit down, give up and get on with it. Use your energy to try to find a kid that might actually be found if you really want to do something about it and aren't just engaging in mindless bandwagonning: There are hundreds if not thousands of missing people in the UK alone, almost all of which are more likely to be found than Madeline, and all of whom have parents, friends and loved ones that are grieving their absence just like the McCanns, but simply aren't crass enough to organize a world tour about it.
There, now that's off my chest, I can move on to the morosis - my spellchecker says that isn't a word, but it also tells me that 'spellchecker' isn't a word either, so it's not the most reliable bit of kit I've ever used - of the wankers of the BBC 'Have Your Say' entry, 'Should Immigrants have Free English Lessons'. Now, I was going to quote without names to protect the ignorant, but then I realised they deserve all the ridecule they can get, and I've linked to the article with their names anyway, so it's their own problem for putting there identity out there, and attached to such mind-bogglingly stupid comments. First up:
Right, Steve Payne from Bristol, I'm going to break this down for you, because in your knee-jerk hurry to post your faintly 'us against the world' drivel, you have evidently missed the subtle nuances of the question at hand: They are already here. They are not people we can 'turn away at the door', whatever your views on immigration, because they are already in Britain. There are two options, either they learn English or they don't, and I don't think anyone is stupid enough to argue for "don't".
Hello Mavis, you're a tool. We should be paying them to stay in their own country... but shouldn't be paying them to learn English. To avoid addressing the same problem I did with Steve, I'm going to assume you are an advocate of the 'Send Them Back' argument, the problem with which is it is very fucking expensive. From a purely economic standpoint it makes far more sense to pay to integrate more workers into the employment pool than to spend out an even greater amount of money and 'send them back', especially when large numbers of them work low-paid employment that you're average school-leaver with a GCSE in ASBO considers too far 'below them' to bother with.
Beware of ill-thought-out logic. If you get cancer and need treatment, that's fine - but why should I have to pay for it? With there currently being around 68 million Britons, and with the ratio of Britons slated to develop cancer at some point in their lives currently standing at 1 in 3, and cancer treatment being pretty much the definition of 'very fucking expensive', the cost of NHS cancer treatment in terms of taxes is probably orders of magnitude higher than any possible costs of teaching a few thousand immigrants to speak English, and yet I don't hear anyone kicking up a fuss about cancer wards. Put simply for people like Richard, I'm betting paying a teacher to stand in a room and write on a blackboard costs orders of magnitude less than it costs to hire a team of surgeons to pull a tumour out of your face.
I'm going to be kind, not mock your own lack of language skills and concentrate on deconstructing your argument. Remember, as covered before, we are teaching them a required skill to function in the British workforce. We are not teaching them to dance the Bolero. Pray tell, what 'free language lessons' do you require to function in the British workforce? Welsh? Scots Gaelic? What about 'free driving lessons for immagrants' [sic]? I've never heard of that one before, is it at all possible that you're talking out of your arse, because it seems to have some sort of speech impediment. (Said I wasn't going to do that - whoops). Does this really happen or am I 'suffercating' under the torrents of Aimee's bullshit? (I'm not sorry).
And finally, some sanity:
Because we're idiots, Alexander. It's recently become very in-vogue to be some sort of mindless idiot who is under the impression that every immigrant is given a penthouse apartment, personalised Ferrari and life membership to the Spearmint Rhino, and thus develop an irrational hatred of all things not 'British Born and Bred'. Unless of course it's a curry or a kebab after their friday night punch-up, in which case it's just fine.Don't ever come here, or Steve, Mavis and Aimee are gonna round up a posse, and thur's gonna be a lynchin'. Because we're idiots.
I'm going to have a lie down now, exposure to this amount of stupidity makes me feel like my brain is going to start dribbling out of my nose.
Goodnight.
People all over the world and all over the internet have covered the story, and it was easily the biggest of 2007 and looks like being one of the longest of 2008. It's been covered in intricate detail by professionals in every field possibly connected with the case who covered every fragment of evidence with more expertise than I could ever offer if I dedicated my life to the case, which is why I'm going to sum it up for you in three words: She is dead. If you want four, I'll go with 'very dead', because that's how certain I am that she is dead - there are degrees of dead, and she's right at the top. She is the dictionary definition. They could use her picture in the entry if a) they actually used pictures in dictionaries and b) it wasn't already used for the entry on 'Annoying'. Sit down, give up and get on with it. Use your energy to try to find a kid that might actually be found if you really want to do something about it and aren't just engaging in mindless bandwagonning: There are hundreds if not thousands of missing people in the UK alone, almost all of which are more likely to be found than Madeline, and all of whom have parents, friends and loved ones that are grieving their absence just like the McCanns, but simply aren't crass enough to organize a world tour about it.
There, now that's off my chest, I can move on to the morosis - my spellchecker says that isn't a word, but it also tells me that 'spellchecker' isn't a word either, so it's not the most reliable bit of kit I've ever used - of the wankers of the BBC 'Have Your Say' entry, 'Should Immigrants have Free English Lessons'. Now, I was going to quote without names to protect the ignorant, but then I realised they deserve all the ridecule they can get, and I've linked to the article with their names anyway, so it's their own problem for putting there identity out there, and attached to such mind-bogglingly stupid comments. First up:
"they should be given as help as we (the british) would
get in any other country, as much help as you can pay for!"
- Steve Payne, Bristol
get in any other country, as much help as you can pay for!"
- Steve Payne, Bristol
Right, Steve Payne from Bristol, I'm going to break this down for you, because in your knee-jerk hurry to post your faintly 'us against the world' drivel, you have evidently missed the subtle nuances of the question at hand: They are already here. They are not people we can 'turn away at the door', whatever your views on immigration, because they are already in Britain. There are two options, either they learn English or they don't, and I don't think anyone is stupid enough to argue for "don't".
"no we should be paying them to stay in there own country we dont have
room for so many that alone spend our taxes on teaching them English".
- Mavis, Hockley
room for so many that alone spend our taxes on teaching them English".
- Mavis, Hockley
Hello Mavis, you're a tool. We should be paying them to stay in their own country... but shouldn't be paying them to learn English. To avoid addressing the same problem I did with Steve, I'm going to assume you are an advocate of the 'Send Them Back' argument, the problem with which is it is very fucking expensive. From a purely economic standpoint it makes far more sense to pay to integrate more workers into the employment pool than to spend out an even greater amount of money and 'send them back', especially when large numbers of them work low-paid employment that you're average school-leaver with a GCSE in ASBO considers too far 'below them' to bother with.
"If immigrants want to learn English, that's fine -
but why should I have to pay for it ?"
- Richard Weeks, Worthing
but why should I have to pay for it ?"
- Richard Weeks, Worthing
Beware of ill-thought-out logic. If you get cancer and need treatment, that's fine - but why should I have to pay for it? With there currently being around 68 million Britons, and with the ratio of Britons slated to develop cancer at some point in their lives currently standing at 1 in 3, and cancer treatment being pretty much the definition of 'very fucking expensive', the cost of NHS cancer treatment in terms of taxes is probably orders of magnitude higher than any possible costs of teaching a few thousand immigrants to speak English, and yet I don't hear anyone kicking up a fuss about cancer wards. Put simply for people like Richard, I'm betting paying a teacher to stand in a room and write on a blackboard costs orders of magnitude less than it costs to hire a team of surgeons to pull a tumour out of your face.
"The UK government need to stop handing out freebies
to immagrants and start looking after it's own hardworking
people. The UK's work force don't get a thing (Like free
language lessons or another good one is free driving lessons
for immagrants) compared to all these immagrants that
are coming in to this country and suffercating our system."
- Aimee, Norwich
to immagrants and start looking after it's own hardworking
people. The UK's work force don't get a thing (Like free
language lessons or another good one is free driving lessons
for immagrants) compared to all these immagrants that
are coming in to this country and suffercating our system."
- Aimee, Norwich
I'm going to be kind, not mock your own lack of language skills and concentrate on deconstructing your argument. Remember, as covered before, we are teaching them a required skill to function in the British workforce. We are not teaching them to dance the Bolero. Pray tell, what 'free language lessons' do you require to function in the British workforce? Welsh? Scots Gaelic? What about 'free driving lessons for immagrants' [sic]? I've never heard of that one before, is it at all possible that you're talking out of your arse, because it seems to have some sort of speech impediment. (Said I wasn't going to do that - whoops). Does this really happen or am I 'suffercating' under the torrents of Aimee's bullshit? (I'm not sorry).
And finally, some sanity:
"In Canada, refugees and immigrants get free French
or English (or both) lessons. It helps to make them more
productive members of the community, so it is a plus for
our country, well worth the cost. Why is this matter
controversial in the UK?"
- C. Alexander Brown, Canada.
or English (or both) lessons. It helps to make them more
productive members of the community, so it is a plus for
our country, well worth the cost. Why is this matter
controversial in the UK?"
- C. Alexander Brown, Canada.
Because we're idiots, Alexander. It's recently become very in-vogue to be some sort of mindless idiot who is under the impression that every immigrant is given a penthouse apartment, personalised Ferrari and life membership to the Spearmint Rhino, and thus develop an irrational hatred of all things not 'British Born and Bred'. Unless of course it's a curry or a kebab after their friday night punch-up, in which case it's just fine.Don't ever come here, or Steve, Mavis and Aimee are gonna round up a posse, and thur's gonna be a lynchin'. Because we're idiots.
I'm going to have a lie down now, exposure to this amount of stupidity makes me feel like my brain is going to start dribbling out of my nose.
Goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment