Right, I know you're all probably sick and tired of hearing about the situation with Liverpool and the owners' diasterous plans to... I don't know what they're up to, they're that disasterous, but I'm going to update you on the latest nuances of the problem because frankly anything's better than reviewing the complete and utter shambles that was on the TV earlier tonight. That 5 - 1 result was the worst Arsenal performance I've seen in over 20 years, and as much as it pains me to say it, Spurs deserved to win by that many and should probably have scored more. Every single member of the team was absolutely useless and if Wenger is capable of raising his voice, he should be shattering crystal right about now trying to find out exactly where everyone went to whilst Spurs passed it around like Arsenal just weren't there. Honestly, any performance that makes Jermain Jenas look good needs to be seriously looked at. It was like pulling teeth. Anyway, Liverpool. Any Kopites who still thought it was a good idea for club custodian Moores to sell up to a man who made his money in meat and his mate who used to sell Dr. Pepper must surely be reconsidering now, as the American pair have had to try to refinance their hundreds of millions of pounds of debt they gotten themselves into - I thought these blokes were supposed to be investment experts? I couldn't get myself into nine figures of debt, lads, and I'm crap with money. Meanwhile, as Liverpool's plans for a new stadium appear to be going up in smoke and the board continue to undermine Rafa Benitez as Liverpool finish the week below rivals Everton in the Premiership, all is not particularly rosy in the red half of Merseyside.
What the American owners don't seem to have realised about buying Liverpool is that Scousers, be they Kopites, Evertonians or - God forbid - Tranmere Rovers supporters is that they think with their hearts and not with their heads and, for the locals, your team isn't just the shirt you wear or the scarf around your neck, but a part of your very being. When Liverpool suffer, half the city laughs and the other cries, and both with heart and feeling that no other football fan, except those of the Old Firm, could possibly understand. Liverpool fans have the vitriol of the Kop in their veins while Evertonians bleed deep royal blue, and you do not mess with their club any more than you would walk into their living rooms and slap their mothers. What Tom Hicks and George Gillett are doing is a slap in the face of every Liverpool supporters' mother, and the Kop is burning with a hatred of their foreign rulers with a fury not seen even at the heights of the 'Love United, Hate Glazer' movement when their great rivals Manchester United were taken into American ownership. Prominent Liverpool blog ThisIsAnfield.com has gone as far as to suggest a boycott if the owners are not gone by the start of next season and, while it most likely will not come to that, the fact that such a representative of the Anfield club is willing to mention Benitez in the same breath as the legendary Bill Shankley shows the regard they hold the Spaniard, and gives an inkling of the distaste the have for the faceless, anonymous boardroom that may look to replace him.
A note to Tom and George from someone who has stood amongst the fury and passion of the Kop: Don't.
Elsewhere, the BBC has a shocking story declaring that, according to a survey, pre-marital sex is now accepted in Britain. The fact that pre-marital sex is now accepted isn't the shocking part, obviously, it's the fact that it took them taking a survey to realise that, in 2007, pretty much everyone is up to pretty much everything with pretty much everyone else. 10 minutes in any pub or club in any town or city in Britain would tell you that, and 9 of those would be their eyes adjusting to the darkness to avoid falling over the people rolling around against every wall with their hands down each other's pants. Heaven forbid they go into the toilets before they leave, they'd have to be taken out of there on a stretcher.
Oh yeah, and Heath Ledger's dead. And Konnie Huq's gone and left Blue Peter. I'll be honest with you, I'm a little devastated. She made some shite programme where crappy little kids won wanky little badges into a guilty late-afternoon pleasure. Not since Mina Anwar in Ben Elton bore-fest 'The Thin Blue Line' has the prescence of a dark-eyed beauty turned a completely shite programme into compulsive viewing - I wonder where she is now?
(For those of you keeping score, Google tells me she was in a play called The Vagina Monologues a while back, which can't possibly be as interesting as I imagine it to be).
Crushing Blow of Correctness Edit: In relation to The Vagina Monologues, Wikipedia says it's apparently several hours of women talking about their vaginas. Who would pay to see that? "Oh darling, I saw The Vagina Monologues last night, they sang a song about having periods and then a Belgian dominatrix with vaginal piercings spent nine hours talking about her fanny". Be honest, would you pretentious wallies go and see a bunch of builders talking about their bollocks? I wouldn't, and nor would you.
And they wonder why nobody goes to the theatre these days. Oh well.
Oscar-mocking tomorrow, I can't be fucked with it today.
Goodnight.
What the American owners don't seem to have realised about buying Liverpool is that Scousers, be they Kopites, Evertonians or - God forbid - Tranmere Rovers supporters is that they think with their hearts and not with their heads and, for the locals, your team isn't just the shirt you wear or the scarf around your neck, but a part of your very being. When Liverpool suffer, half the city laughs and the other cries, and both with heart and feeling that no other football fan, except those of the Old Firm, could possibly understand. Liverpool fans have the vitriol of the Kop in their veins while Evertonians bleed deep royal blue, and you do not mess with their club any more than you would walk into their living rooms and slap their mothers. What Tom Hicks and George Gillett are doing is a slap in the face of every Liverpool supporters' mother, and the Kop is burning with a hatred of their foreign rulers with a fury not seen even at the heights of the 'Love United, Hate Glazer' movement when their great rivals Manchester United were taken into American ownership. Prominent Liverpool blog ThisIsAnfield.com has gone as far as to suggest a boycott if the owners are not gone by the start of next season and, while it most likely will not come to that, the fact that such a representative of the Anfield club is willing to mention Benitez in the same breath as the legendary Bill Shankley shows the regard they hold the Spaniard, and gives an inkling of the distaste the have for the faceless, anonymous boardroom that may look to replace him.
A note to Tom and George from someone who has stood amongst the fury and passion of the Kop: Don't.
Elsewhere, the BBC has a shocking story declaring that, according to a survey, pre-marital sex is now accepted in Britain. The fact that pre-marital sex is now accepted isn't the shocking part, obviously, it's the fact that it took them taking a survey to realise that, in 2007, pretty much everyone is up to pretty much everything with pretty much everyone else. 10 minutes in any pub or club in any town or city in Britain would tell you that, and 9 of those would be their eyes adjusting to the darkness to avoid falling over the people rolling around against every wall with their hands down each other's pants. Heaven forbid they go into the toilets before they leave, they'd have to be taken out of there on a stretcher.
Oh yeah, and Heath Ledger's dead. And Konnie Huq's gone and left Blue Peter. I'll be honest with you, I'm a little devastated. She made some shite programme where crappy little kids won wanky little badges into a guilty late-afternoon pleasure. Not since Mina Anwar in Ben Elton bore-fest 'The Thin Blue Line' has the prescence of a dark-eyed beauty turned a completely shite programme into compulsive viewing - I wonder where she is now?
(For those of you keeping score, Google tells me she was in a play called The Vagina Monologues a while back, which can't possibly be as interesting as I imagine it to be).
Crushing Blow of Correctness Edit: In relation to The Vagina Monologues, Wikipedia says it's apparently several hours of women talking about their vaginas. Who would pay to see that? "Oh darling, I saw The Vagina Monologues last night, they sang a song about having periods and then a Belgian dominatrix with vaginal piercings spent nine hours talking about her fanny". Be honest, would you pretentious wallies go and see a bunch of builders talking about their bollocks? I wouldn't, and nor would you.
And they wonder why nobody goes to the theatre these days. Oh well.
Oscar-mocking tomorrow, I can't be fucked with it today.
Goodnight.
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