Right, you horrible lot. Computer problems dealt with to the best of my ability. Anyway, on with the day. If I'm a bit incoherent tonight it's because it's rediculously hot in here - yes, in the middle of January - and it's all I can do to think and type at the same time. It must be approaching 80% humidity in here and I can barely take it even as I sit here typing in my underpants. This is what I get for having three computers and two TV on, all at once, in one room, all day, trying to find a way to fix this fucking thing. Anyway, I'm rambling, so I'll get on with the news.
King Kev's dream return to Tyneside continues to be an unadulterated disaster as supposedly crisis-ridden Arsenal have now caned them 3 - 0 twice in just over as many days. I have to say, for a club falling apart under the weight of expectation, Arsenal are doing pretty well, but then again it's probably not hugely difficult to wipe the floor with a side that hasn't scored since the Geordie Messiah came back, and that has a defence that has all the watertight capabilities of a badly-woven gym sock. Missing out on Woodgate could be a huge problem for Keegan come the end of the season, as I just don't see who's going to step into the breach and stop the rot at the back - the Geordies might love their exciting football, but you still need a solid base at the back, especially when your strikers just can't seem to score.
Most of the other games of the day took place at the other end of the table, with Sunderland beating Birmingham 2 - 0, Bolton and Fulham playing out the most boring 90 minutes I've ever seen with a 0 - 0 draw at the Reebok, and Jeremie Aliadiere scoring his third Premiership goal in about ten years - not a bad return is it? - to lead Boro to a 1 - 0 win over Wigan. No particular exciting or shocking results this week, with the big news being that Fabio Capello is soon to name his first squad as England manager. David Beckham has confirmed that, as every woman from here to Tokyo seems to know, he is 'fit and up for it', while Dave Kitson, a comparible Adonis of a man, has been touted as the answer to England's striking problems. To be fair to him, his club are better than Newcastle and he's in much better form than Michael Owen, but I expect Fabs to play it safe in the media and play Owen and Rooney up front, regardless how out of form Owen is. I'll be pleasantly surprised if someone like Ashton, Agbonlahor or Kitson got a go, but thanks to the British press Owen is pretty much guaranteed a start whenever he's fit until such time as he drops dead or becomes manager instead. Oh well, let's hope Capello springs a surprise and picks on merit. Hopefully not too much of a surprise, though, as I don't fancy Lee Trundle up front, do you? Maybe he should get Rocky Baptiste on the phone.
In other news, a Tory MP has been arrested and released on bail for 'assaulting two teenage children' - of course, we know what this means; he gave some chavs a clip round the ear. If they start doing any more of this sort of thing I might have to start voting Conservative. Also, I think we have an early contender for Weirdest Crime of the Year - a 15-year-old girl apparently making a video diary of the planning and failed execution - if you pardon the pun - of the murder of her parents. Getting caught on camera committing a crime is one thing. Keeping a record of your plans to commit a double murder is also pretty stupid. The cake has to be taken, though, by making a plan to commit the crime, on film, attempting to film the act itself, and then filming a debriefing and a breakdown of exactly where you went wrong. What's weirdest is that her parents apparently let her go back upstairs to film the debriefing - why would you do that? If my child tried to stab me I'd hold them down and punch them in the face until the police arrived. I'm all for parental leniency but all that goes out of the window when the stabbing starts.
Anyway, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm knackered. More tomorrow, after I've had another busy day.
Goodnight.
King Kev's dream return to Tyneside continues to be an unadulterated disaster as supposedly crisis-ridden Arsenal have now caned them 3 - 0 twice in just over as many days. I have to say, for a club falling apart under the weight of expectation, Arsenal are doing pretty well, but then again it's probably not hugely difficult to wipe the floor with a side that hasn't scored since the Geordie Messiah came back, and that has a defence that has all the watertight capabilities of a badly-woven gym sock. Missing out on Woodgate could be a huge problem for Keegan come the end of the season, as I just don't see who's going to step into the breach and stop the rot at the back - the Geordies might love their exciting football, but you still need a solid base at the back, especially when your strikers just can't seem to score.
Most of the other games of the day took place at the other end of the table, with Sunderland beating Birmingham 2 - 0, Bolton and Fulham playing out the most boring 90 minutes I've ever seen with a 0 - 0 draw at the Reebok, and Jeremie Aliadiere scoring his third Premiership goal in about ten years - not a bad return is it? - to lead Boro to a 1 - 0 win over Wigan. No particular exciting or shocking results this week, with the big news being that Fabio Capello is soon to name his first squad as England manager. David Beckham has confirmed that, as every woman from here to Tokyo seems to know, he is 'fit and up for it', while Dave Kitson, a comparible Adonis of a man, has been touted as the answer to England's striking problems. To be fair to him, his club are better than Newcastle and he's in much better form than Michael Owen, but I expect Fabs to play it safe in the media and play Owen and Rooney up front, regardless how out of form Owen is. I'll be pleasantly surprised if someone like Ashton, Agbonlahor or Kitson got a go, but thanks to the British press Owen is pretty much guaranteed a start whenever he's fit until such time as he drops dead or becomes manager instead. Oh well, let's hope Capello springs a surprise and picks on merit. Hopefully not too much of a surprise, though, as I don't fancy Lee Trundle up front, do you? Maybe he should get Rocky Baptiste on the phone.
In other news, a Tory MP has been arrested and released on bail for 'assaulting two teenage children' - of course, we know what this means; he gave some chavs a clip round the ear. If they start doing any more of this sort of thing I might have to start voting Conservative. Also, I think we have an early contender for Weirdest Crime of the Year - a 15-year-old girl apparently making a video diary of the planning and failed execution - if you pardon the pun - of the murder of her parents. Getting caught on camera committing a crime is one thing. Keeping a record of your plans to commit a double murder is also pretty stupid. The cake has to be taken, though, by making a plan to commit the crime, on film, attempting to film the act itself, and then filming a debriefing and a breakdown of exactly where you went wrong. What's weirdest is that her parents apparently let her go back upstairs to film the debriefing - why would you do that? If my child tried to stab me I'd hold them down and punch them in the face until the police arrived. I'm all for parental leniency but all that goes out of the window when the stabbing starts.
Anyway, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm knackered. More tomorrow, after I've had another busy day.
Goodnight.
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