So apart from some exceedingly predictable football at Euro 2008, there seems to be very little going on in the world - well, except drunk footballers maiming people, but then they're always doing that - that, and shagging models in toilets. In fact, things have gotten so dull in the world of the media that they've gone back to putting up stories about that mentalist that stabbed Jill Dando to death some time back in the Triassic era. I don't know exactly why they're bothering with a mistrial as he quite clearly did it, and is just the sort of person to have done it. Anyone who changes their name in tribute to Freddy bloody Mercury (he was good, but come on) has got to be a bit odd, and ripe for a bit of celebrity shooting.
Speaking of shooting, that's the reason behind this posts title - according to reports in various newspapers, Chelsea are allowing AC Milan to enter contract talks with Dider Drogba, but not with Andriy Shevchenko. Can anyone think of a good reason why? At all? Didier Drogba, while a diving squealing girly headbanded little cunt, is quite astonishingly effective, while the man from Ukraine about as good a footballer as I am in ice skates after three quarters of a bottle of whisky. People are going to say it's because he's Roman's mate and everything but surely Abramovich didn't get to where he is in the world by putting his shit mates in charge of Russian oil fields, and Andriy Shevchenko is the footballing equivalent of drowning several peasant villages in 5,000 gallons of crude because you left the tap on, and this decision is the footballing equivalent of leaving it on because your mate Alexei did it and you quite like his smile.
Still, I hope AC Milan do get Drogba, the tree-like twat. Nothing would make me happier than next years' Premiership kicking off without Drogba or Ronaldo, who for all his bleating does indeed look like he might just be off to Real after the Euros. Quite why they'd want him after his stunningly ineffective performance against the Turkish I don't know, but I expect he sells a lot of shirts - no word on how many get burnt as effigies, but it's all money, isnt it?
Back off the pitch - because everything on it has gone to shite and 1 - 0's - the United Nations are wreaking havoc again, this time saying that the UK demonises youngsters and is locking too many of them up. Great. Here comes legislation saying we have to smile and give them a cookie as they happy slap pensioners to death, while the police stand aside and nod sagely as 'kids will be kids' as blood splashes on their shoes. They reckon one in three children experience poverty, which I think is complete bollocks as the number one concern of most children in Britain is new trainers or who they're going to knife next, not where their next meal's coming from, which is the sure sign of real poverty. When they get too listless and hungry to shoot toddlers with air rifles for a laugh, get back to me about their suffering and poverty. Until then, shut the fuck up and lock the nasty little cunts in a nice warm basement with a nice genial guard called Josef. That ought to teach the little fuckers a lesson.
Oh, and there's going to be an opera about Brokeback Mountain. That's that come full circle, then.
Goodnight.
Speaking of shooting, that's the reason behind this posts title - according to reports in various newspapers, Chelsea are allowing AC Milan to enter contract talks with Dider Drogba, but not with Andriy Shevchenko. Can anyone think of a good reason why? At all? Didier Drogba, while a diving squealing girly headbanded little cunt, is quite astonishingly effective, while the man from Ukraine about as good a footballer as I am in ice skates after three quarters of a bottle of whisky. People are going to say it's because he's Roman's mate and everything but surely Abramovich didn't get to where he is in the world by putting his shit mates in charge of Russian oil fields, and Andriy Shevchenko is the footballing equivalent of drowning several peasant villages in 5,000 gallons of crude because you left the tap on, and this decision is the footballing equivalent of leaving it on because your mate Alexei did it and you quite like his smile.
Still, I hope AC Milan do get Drogba, the tree-like twat. Nothing would make me happier than next years' Premiership kicking off without Drogba or Ronaldo, who for all his bleating does indeed look like he might just be off to Real after the Euros. Quite why they'd want him after his stunningly ineffective performance against the Turkish I don't know, but I expect he sells a lot of shirts - no word on how many get burnt as effigies, but it's all money, isnt it?
Back off the pitch - because everything on it has gone to shite and 1 - 0's - the United Nations are wreaking havoc again, this time saying that the UK demonises youngsters and is locking too many of them up. Great. Here comes legislation saying we have to smile and give them a cookie as they happy slap pensioners to death, while the police stand aside and nod sagely as 'kids will be kids' as blood splashes on their shoes. They reckon one in three children experience poverty, which I think is complete bollocks as the number one concern of most children in Britain is new trainers or who they're going to knife next, not where their next meal's coming from, which is the sure sign of real poverty. When they get too listless and hungry to shoot toddlers with air rifles for a laugh, get back to me about their suffering and poverty. Until then, shut the fuck up and lock the nasty little cunts in a nice warm basement with a nice genial guard called Josef. That ought to teach the little fuckers a lesson.
Oh, and there's going to be an opera about Brokeback Mountain. That's that come full circle, then.
Goodnight.
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