Argh. It's hot and I'm hungover, which is the worst combination of anything since parents and tapas. The sound of two dozen or so Formula 1 cars is tearing through my poorly head and yet here I am, still writing another post for you lovely people. I've even gone out of my way to peer through my bleary eyes and do something involving domain settings and something called 'cNAME' so now things will properly forward themselves to blandfordexaminer.co.uk rather than the blogspot domain.
I think.
Anyway, surprisingly enough given the last couple of days, there's some actual news this afternoon, so brace yourselves - The Daily Express thinks it's made a breakthrough this morning in the case of the Bridgend suicides, blaming it on the effects of 'dozens' of mobile phone masts. Now this conspiracy has bee doing the rounds for years, pretty much since people knew what mobile phone masts were, and I put about as much stock in it as I do the theories about lizard-men and underground UFO bases. Admittedly, something's got to be up - I know that surely that many people wouldn't top themselves all in the same place, even though Wales is a fundamentally soul-destroying place to be, it's just I don't think it's evil influences coming through the phone signals.
The Express also manages to come up with a good idea, which frankly shocked me - they reckon it would be a good idea to put The Bearded Loony in the Big Brother house. I think that's an absolutely fantastic suggestion, as either they'd drive him mental enough to own up to all his crimes and beg to be extradited to Jordan just for some fucking peace, or he'd kill them all for being decadent Western nonbelievers and do the rest of us a huge favour. Fucking hell, if he did that, I'd give the man a pardon.
Speaking of Big Brother, I do have to point out the humour of The Sun's coverage, as it seems to have completely replaced any sort of news and have just turned into The Big Brother Paper. Oh, and Amy Winehouse, they seem to like her a bit as well. Fucking pointless.
Jay-Z has hit out at people saying they don't want rap at Glastonbury, saying "It's ridiculous, if we don't embrace what is new, then how do we progress?" - shut up, Jay, nobody wants to hear about your 'hoes'. Your carbon-copy cookie-cutter 'gangsta' rap is the most boring kind of fucking music in the entire world, even worse than chamber music, which is fucking awful, and you are an ugly cunt. Please go away.
In other news, some poor bastard was shot in the next town over from me the other day. Fucking hell, that's a bit close to home isn't it? Spain vs. Italy later on tonight, and as I've correctly predicted the last two quarter finals, I'm going to go out on a limb and go for 3/4, and say I reckon this is the year of the Spanish. With Luca Toni finishing like a drunken rugby player and a defence with a pace matched only by the laziest of arctic glaciers, I reckon David Villa will kick seven kinds of shite out of them and win it by a couple. A Germany vs. Spain final would beckon if that's the case, and a Germany vs. Italy one if it isn't, which would be frustratingly predictable to say the least. Part of me really wants Turkey or the Russians to really put the shits up everyone this tournament, but we'll have to wait and see.
I'm going to go and make myself a fried egg sarnie. Best hangover cure ever. The Formula 1 is shit.
Goodnight.
I think.
Anyway, surprisingly enough given the last couple of days, there's some actual news this afternoon, so brace yourselves - The Daily Express thinks it's made a breakthrough this morning in the case of the Bridgend suicides, blaming it on the effects of 'dozens' of mobile phone masts. Now this conspiracy has bee doing the rounds for years, pretty much since people knew what mobile phone masts were, and I put about as much stock in it as I do the theories about lizard-men and underground UFO bases. Admittedly, something's got to be up - I know that surely that many people wouldn't top themselves all in the same place, even though Wales is a fundamentally soul-destroying place to be, it's just I don't think it's evil influences coming through the phone signals.
The Express also manages to come up with a good idea, which frankly shocked me - they reckon it would be a good idea to put The Bearded Loony in the Big Brother house. I think that's an absolutely fantastic suggestion, as either they'd drive him mental enough to own up to all his crimes and beg to be extradited to Jordan just for some fucking peace, or he'd kill them all for being decadent Western nonbelievers and do the rest of us a huge favour. Fucking hell, if he did that, I'd give the man a pardon.
Speaking of Big Brother, I do have to point out the humour of The Sun's coverage, as it seems to have completely replaced any sort of news and have just turned into The Big Brother Paper. Oh, and Amy Winehouse, they seem to like her a bit as well. Fucking pointless.
Jay-Z has hit out at people saying they don't want rap at Glastonbury, saying "It's ridiculous, if we don't embrace what is new, then how do we progress?" - shut up, Jay, nobody wants to hear about your 'hoes'. Your carbon-copy cookie-cutter 'gangsta' rap is the most boring kind of fucking music in the entire world, even worse than chamber music, which is fucking awful, and you are an ugly cunt. Please go away.
In other news, some poor bastard was shot in the next town over from me the other day. Fucking hell, that's a bit close to home isn't it? Spain vs. Italy later on tonight, and as I've correctly predicted the last two quarter finals, I'm going to go out on a limb and go for 3/4, and say I reckon this is the year of the Spanish. With Luca Toni finishing like a drunken rugby player and a defence with a pace matched only by the laziest of arctic glaciers, I reckon David Villa will kick seven kinds of shite out of them and win it by a couple. A Germany vs. Spain final would beckon if that's the case, and a Germany vs. Italy one if it isn't, which would be frustratingly predictable to say the least. Part of me really wants Turkey or the Russians to really put the shits up everyone this tournament, but we'll have to wait and see.
I'm going to go and make myself a fried egg sarnie. Best hangover cure ever. The Formula 1 is shit.
Goodnight.
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